What I’ve been up to…living in the past!

babiesnicu.jpg

The final pages came back to me for my book (they’re acually called “first pass pages” but I don’t know why, they’re last) and I’ve been proofreading, and fretting. Mostly fretting. I’ve begun having little panic attacks that manifest themselves in strange ways, like this morning, when we didn’t have any bread left for the peanut butter toast and I started crying; or last night, when I was convinced that we had a mouse scritching about the house (we don’t, it was just the wind blowing the tree branches against the window.)

Oh, heaven help me. I’m almost finished and I just need to keep it together a little bit longer! And I need to remember what my terrific editor, Tracy, has begun telling me, “It’s okay…just breathe…”

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23 thoughts on “What I’ve been up to…living in the past!

  1. What I see when I look at that picture are two HUGE beautiful babies!

    Hang in there. You rock! You’re almost done. Trust your editor. She sounds fabulous!

  2. What a sweet picture! And how exciting to be in the end stages of your book. You are almost done. I wish you peace and bread!

  3. beautiful picture. just breathtaking.

    it’s all so very exciting!!! yes. breathe, my sweet, breathe and keep breathing. soon all you will need to do is sit back and watch as we all buy your book and eagerly read. okay, well, you WILL still need bread for make p&js…

  4. oh look at those beautiful boys!! HOW PRECIOUS!
    Hang in there, I have panic attacks and they are not fun!
    take a moment to relax, take a breather and think positive!!
    hugs!

  5. the individual voice, I shared this with you in an email and I it bears repeating here too, I think…there was a very loooong time when I was writing, but not being published. What this means to me is that when the time is right, the time is right. Until then, keep writing, and don’t give up.

  6. I agree, take a couple deep breathes. You know it will be ok and if you editor is as terrific as you say you’ve really nothing to worry about. Smile and think of something funny. When you break into the giggles and can’t stop you’ll just laugh all that stress right out of ya. 🙂

  7. LOL at your comment about people getting afraid of the tubes and patches…I didn’t even notice them! Yes, they are beautiful babies who are growing into beautiful little boys.

    I’d be surprised if you hadn’t gone through some anxiety over the pages (and other stuff). I imagine it’s kind of like the (emotional/mental) process of giving birth all over again. Well, KIND of—if you know what I mean?

    Can’t wait until the book is available! xo

  8. Gillian, I’d know you anywhere… 🙂 and let me know when I can link to your blog.

    Thank you, Tammy. You are a PICU warrior-mama. I appreciate your sharing your strength with me!

  9. Congratulations on mailing out your pages! I can’t wait!

    (Oh, and by the way, Jennifer, it’s me Gillian, I also go under ukrainemom:)

  10. Ahhh Vicki, spoken like a true NICU warrior-mama! Most people, I fear, see the tubes and the patches and are afraid!

    Thank you for all the encouragement, everyone. I can’t say it enough…everyone has been terrific, better than that! It’s just me and my old bag of fear that I seem to insist on hauling around with me everywhere…

    Thank you, again. I mailed off the pages today and it’s DONE!

  11. I think what you are experiencing is very normal. I’d be more surprised (and worried!) if you weren’t having panic attacks. Yes, breathing is good. And all of it is good. Beautiful family, soon-to-be published memoir…

    Breathe, Jennifer. And let the rest of it go.

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