Inheritance

This is a rambling sort of story, so bear with me: Carter, now that he’s 9, was going to open a savings account. As I was making the plans for this (does our bank have savings accounts for minors, what paperwork is needed, what time do they open, will they take a piggybank full of change?), it occurred to me that Carter might get a kick out of seeing the vault. Which meant that I’d need to find our safety deposit box key.

Thinking about the safety deposit box made me remember what was inside–papers and legal documents and a ring from my mother, another from my grandmother, both would make nice gifts for my future daughters-in-law, should I be lucky enough to have them.

Then I began to fret. Three! I needed three rings to pass along! I thought harder about what was in that box. And then it came to me; I remembered a third ring, from my mother’s mother, my Gram, a pearl for June, her name and my birth month. With that settled, my mind returned to the tasks of the day.

The full importance of this chain of events didn’t come to me until later. Three. Not so long ago, the thought of passing along any jewelry to my sons would have sent me into despair. I would have wrung my hands and thought, Oh Avery, poor Avery!

But no more.

Somewhere there is a family raising a beautiful, lovely, cherished little girl, the girl who will become part of our family, and us part of hers. Somewhere, a mother braids her hair, or helps her into her ballerina costume, or asks her for the thousandth time, Please drink your milk. She’s out there waiting for us, and we are waiting for her. My grandmother’s ring will be perfect on her finger.

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25 thoughts on “Inheritance

  1. watch out jennifer…based on a few of the posts this could turn into a regular match.com for avery! and then what? choices…choices… πŸ™‚

    i finished the book last night. good god, it’s wonderful. will email soon.

  2. Okay, *I* was wondering where that third ring was before I got to the end of your post.

    Shows ya how my mind works. πŸ˜‰

    I, too, believe that there is a little girl out there waiting to grow up and become a part of our family too one day.

  3. Welcome, Sandy! It’s true: one of the very best parts of the journey with my son Avery is all of you! He’s the reason I began this blog, and the force behind so many other good things in my life too. We truly do not walk alone!

  4. This may not be the place for an introduction, but I felt so compelled by this entry that I’m finally coming out of the closet. I was first moved to tears by your personal story in Gifts and was elated when I recently came upon your blog. It is incredibly comforting to find kinship in perfect strangers who get my life and can articulate what I feel.

    I am Mom to our only child, Lucas (the “bean”) who is nearly 15 months old — I had no idea how much my heart could swell. Lucas was diagnosed at birth with DS — the happiest and saddest day of my life. Looking back, I can hardly believe how far I’ve come, we’ve come…I too dare to dream of a white picket fence and a bride for my son. Thanks for the reminder that we don’t walk alone.

  5. isn’t 9 fun? I have a 9 yr old girl. She reminds me all the time that any disability to be had is MINE and not hers. She is doing perfectly fine in life, Mom needs to remember to not imagine limitations where they may be none. I’m learning. Posts like yours help. Thanks.

  6. I know exactly what you mean. Sometimes I scare myself with the ‘big dreams’ I have for Hannah – they seemed so far away when we first found out she may have DS. Let me know that ring size and I’ll send her over… I often hear of twins marrying twins …

  7. Isn’t it great that we can dream about such things? When my daughter was first born with Ds, I did not know what to imagine. Now I imagine many great things! Thanks to the many pioneer parents/families who set out before us & blazed the path & to the others who imagine & dream alongside me of the possibilities & opportunities! I’m smiling along with Stacy for the same reason. πŸ™‚

  8. Lovely. With three boys of my own my mind wanders to such things. Recently I found myself wondering about my wedding dress, tucked away in the attack. I had a fleeting thought of selling the thing on ebay but it was quickly replaced with another thought. Maybe one of the boys future wives will be interested in wearing it down the aisle. And Wil was very naturally included in that thought. It left me smiling picturing him all grown up on his wedding day waiting for his bride. Not so much because of the future image it conjured up but because I am in a very different place than I was even a year ago to even imagine these things for him.

  9. Doggone, you made me cry (again)…and wish that I had a daughter for your son. And yes, there *is* a girl somewhere for each of our sons…waaaaaaaaay in the future though; I’m not sure I’m ready to contemplate that scenario just yet.

    Nine? Is Carter really nine?? They just keep growing so fast!

  10. I have to admit, I still fret a little. I worry that my treasured heirlooms will leave the family because my daughter either gives them away without realizing the value or because somebody doing her end-of-life care steals them.

    But you know what? Other than my daughter, I only have sons. They may not value my “treasured heirlooms” much anyway, especially since none of them are particularly valuable. And things get stolen from everyone.

    I think you have the right attitude.

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