Leave the light on

Time is pouring out like water from a pitcher, passing through my hands so shiny  and quick.  There are little boys pulling open drawers in the kitchen, asking for toast and milk and apples, and I want to be with them. 

I’ve spent so much time trying to get to this place of ordinary life:  now, I want to soak up as much of it as I can.  I’ve decided to take a blogging break, which seems scary and like exactly the right thing, all at once.  You’ve been my first readers and my best readers, my teachers and my cheerleaders, you are that support van I wrote about wishing for, always right on time.  How will I manage without you?

I’m going to leave up the archives for anyone who happens to pass by and wonder about this time in our lives.   There’s so much here that is good: because of the comments, because of the community. 

I’m leaving the light on. 



47 thoughts on “Leave the light on

  1. Just checking in … yours was the first blog I ever followed, I loved your book and was wondering how you are doing. My little baby is now 10 and doing great…Hope that you write another book someday

  2. first time to ur blog..what can i say ur writings are really lovely.. u r a wonderful cook too. But seriously I’m not interested in cooking, so i had a look only at the pics.
    but this blog of urs made me hooked.

    I loved reading your posts.

  3. I found out one of my fraternal twins had ds three days after we left the hospital. It was one of the darkest, loneliest days of my life! No one prepared me for this… Each day gets better. Your book helped a lot! Thank you for that! I would love to hear more about the adventures of twins with one with down syndrome. It’s hard when you’re presented with it everyday. I get a sudden happiness about his acomplishments but then a sudden low cause she is not there yet. End up feeling guilty about both….

  4. I check back in every so often hoping to find that you have updated. I sure do miss your writing! I’m off to find an old email from you to send a quick message!

    Jill B (Overland Park,KS)

  5. Lovely Jennifer, I just thought of you when someone was asking how to help a dad, who was in a dark place after learning his child had Downs. I went to find you on Facebook. Nope. Went to bug Kristin to remind me of your blog and then it came back to me. Here I am and here you’re not. Maybe come out and play again soon. You are loved and missed and needed. Hope your beautiful family is doing well.

    Your old blogging friend, Nadine

  6. I’ve been thinking of you because I am knitting scarves for Special Olympics and have decided to send mine to Montana. The last I looked their page said that they needed 750 and have only received 2! Anyway, thinking of you & wanted to say hi. If you go to the Winter Games let us know if they got enough scarves & how they looked. I don’t know what the plan is if there aren’t enough for everyone.

  7. I hope you’ll come back to blogging – I just found you! My daughter has cerebral palsy, and our stories are nothing alike, and yet our stories are so similar at the same time. I loved your book and it made a big impact on me. I hope you are well and happy out there (and I totally selfishly will hope for an update post someday). Best!

  8. You have been in my thoughts a couple of times in the past weeks, so I thought I’d just stop in and say “Hello!” I miss hearing your “voice”…

    Happy October, Jennifer!!!!

  9. I miss you, too! I miss your brand of honesty, your sweet voice and unique perspective. Do write here and tell us what you have been up to…and about the kids, of course ;)…

  10. I miss you too. You seem to have vanished from the internet – maybe that’s a good thing?

    Hope things are well with all of you. Happy fall!

  11. I read your book last July when my daughter was just 6 weeks old. Her name is Mia and she has DS. I loved your book. It helped me through a lot of tears. Since the summer I’ve moved on to Early Intervention and all the next steps, forgetting the pain of the first few weeks. Until last night. Out of no where I had a dream about Avery. A beautiful little blond boy who came to visit me. He appeared just as he did on the cover of your book. In my dream, I found him in my garage?? banging around with some old toys. When I came out to see what the noise was I found him with a huge smile on his face. The dream went on, and I woke up this morning with the strongest need to contact you and let you know how much you and Avery still impact my life. I woke up with tears, a smile and warm heart. Thank you for your story.

    1. Hello! Thank you for this super-sweet email! I love that you had a dream about Avery, and truth be told, that would be exactly where you’d find him…he’s a lover of being outdoors, and he has a magic way of finding toys wherever he goes. So, yes! Thank you too for sharing with me your memories of reading Road Map, and where you are in your life, now. I was thinking, just the other day, that I now feel completely different about DS than I once did. I was thinking that it just doesn’t matter anymore, the way it used to. Avery is mine, Avery is ours, and I can’t imagine my life without him. ‘Nuf said! (What a short book THAT would have made…) When I worked at the library a zillion years ago, it used to frustrate me that I couldn’t read all the books I was supposed to re-shelve. So I made up a game for myself, wherein I’d read the first and the last sentence of every book I held in my hands. Road Map is this: First, “It’s hard to know where to begin” and last, “He is my son.” True! But a whole world of experiences exists between those two statements, as you well know… Thanks, finally, for keeping in touch. It means the world to me, to know my little book has found such a good, kind reader. Thank you, thank you, thank you. xo

      Jennifer Graf Groneberg Road Map to Holland (NAL/Penguin) http://www.jennifergrafgroneberg.com

    1. Hello! So good to hear from you! And yes, away from the lights. What a perfect way to put it. I’ve been doing lots of reading (to myself and to the kids) and playing (hide and seek, but also actual games, like poker. I have a tribe of poker sharks in my house…). And sleeping! Lots of sleeping. I feel like a mama bear, in hibernation. It’s good, and right, and has been a while in coming. I’m very thankful for all that has happened, but I’m also pooped! 🙂 I hope you and yours are well, and I wish the same thing back atacha: all good things in 2010. Thanks for keeping in touch. xo

      Jennifer Graf Groneberg Road Map to Holland (NAL/Penguin) http://www.jennifergrafgroneberg.com

  12. Hi Jennifer and Boys! I wanted to send along our wishes for you to have the Merriest of Christmases and Most Joyous of New Years! Hope to “read” you again in 2010!

  13. Hi Jennifer– I think I was always a lurker, you didn’t even know (couldn’t have known) I was there, but today with time to read and write and catch my breath (not much but a little) I miss you and your blog– but totally, totally get it. Enjoy the place you’ve gotten to, the opened drawers, apples in the orchard, the winter coming– your little boys. Laura

  14. I understand, although you will be missed. Please keep writing. I eagerly await more books from you–you are one of my favorite contemporary writers. Honestly.
    And stay in touch to let us know when any new books will be forthcoming. 🙂

  15. Enjoy Jennifer. Hope those boys continue to bring you a ton of joy!

    I will always remember the email you sent me on John’s first Christmas. He was doing so little then. I came back from Toys R Us in tears because I didn’t know what toys John would be able to play with and when. You assured me that whatever toys I bought would get could use over the upcoming years, and I am happy to report they have! Thank you, thank you, thank you!

  16. I’ll miss you, but over the years I have often been called back into my home, to just be with my family. It is all for good!

  17. I will miss your comforting, encouraging, and inspiring words, but I completely understand the need to have that ordinary life. Have fun with your boys, cherish this time—it goes by much too fast!

  18. Hi Jennifer,
    I will really miss reading your blog, I didn’t comment too much but I always looked forward to your writing and observations. All the best to you , thank you so much for letting me share in this period of time!
    Carol Greenstein(Mom to hannah, 3)

  19. Thank you for all that you have given me. You’re a wonderful writer and were such an inspirational “voice in the dark” when I really needed it. I will miss your posts, but I understand completely. ENJOY your boys!

  20. I will miss your posts. I definately enjoy reading them. However I think it’s good to refresh yourself and take a bit of a break. This tactic works well for many things in life. Best wishes

  21. Jennifer, I love your writing so much. I will miss you. But this is a wonderful time of year to “just be”, isn’t it? Our children grow too quickly…

    I found a blogger who reminds me very much of you. This is her site: http://www.soulemama.com/soulemama/

    You may have visited her blog already — it is very inspirational. So, if you have some alone time and you feel like reading, I recommend her blog.

    Cheers my lovely friend!


  22. Oh how I’ll miss your “voice.” Your rich words full of life and comfort —and insight. Always insight. Yours was one of the first blogs which capitivated me and gave me light on some dark days. Our connection has brought me joy.

    Enjoy your fast-growing boys and your well-deserved “ordinary” life. Though I suspect that you will find it far from truly ordinary. More likely extraordinary —like you.

    I wish you peace, my friend. xo

  23. You will be greatly, (greatly!) missed, Jennifer.

    I will always have you to thank for setting the scene for how my life began with Dylan. Roadmap to Holland was my bible!!

    Take good care and best wishes to you and your family.

    Laurie and Dylan

  24. I completely get it. Enjoy the break. I’ll miss you, but I’ve been contemplating the same thing lately…somehow it seems like life passes me by while I’m blogging. There’s something really wrong with letting that happen.

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