The heart wants what it wants

It’s been 20 days since our divorce was finalized through the courts. I struggle with the language because it’s all so black and white: mine, yours. You did this, I did that. Before, after. Even the terms–ex/wife, husband, daughter in law, son in law. Who are we, now that we are not married?

It’s all a lot to navigate, even without Covid. But now, we are a family of ex-es and a household of halves. Half the mom-dad yin-yang the boys were used to, and now it’s mom, and a sad mom. I’m so lucky in so many ways (hello, all the things, read the archives if you don’t know) but I never thought I’d be here, now.

Welcome to the rest of the story, I guess. The one I never knew I would write, the one I don’t know how to tell.

Be well, my friends, who might be out there in trouble too. These are hard times. I will try to be here more often, if only just to be accountable to myself. I want to remember this all, so some day, I can tell others how we all came out of it.


By jennifergg

I am a writer, a reader and a chaser-afterer of my blue dog Sam. Pinwheels is my blog about life with Down syndrome.

6 replies on “The heart wants what it wants”

Jennifer — For all my good intentions, once I realized you were blogging again, I have sadlly been lax at checking back in. I am so sorry to hear this news; having been through one divorce, I truly never want to go through that experience again. I truly wish you healing & happiness going forward. I am forever grateful that I got to meet & spend some time with you both, and the boys (of course, the twins were just babies, & I can’t believe how the years have flown by).

Thanks for your comments, and for your well-wishes. I’ll take them! And I’m truly grateful I got to meet and spend time with you, too.

Hello! Sorry to hear about the hard times – but very glad to hear from you. My twins are now 16!! It seems a lifetime ago when blogs like yours were lifelines in the community. I hope the good times shine through for you always.

Me too for YEARS but I remember you and your family! So grateful to hear from you! Hope you are okay and navigating these tough times. We are all doing the very best we can, let’s all go gently into the future (that’s my story and I’m sticking to it!!!)

Hi Jennifer, it’s been YEARS since I have been on here. Some good and some bad but mostly good… my twins are 9 now! I am SO sorry to hear this news. Relationships are hard work… I hope this new journey brings you some amazing things in time when you’re ready. In the meantime I’ll be thinking about you and the boys. >>> xo

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