I feel as if I’ve been waiting for something to happen for so long that waiting has become a habit. It’s not a good habit! To help myself get unstuck, I’m trying new things. One of them is here: Make Your Own Magic With Andrea Scher. She’s a superhero. And I love that she says, “No capes, just courage.”
Words aren’t our easiest thing. By “our” I mean Avery, but I also mean the whole family. I wrote about it a little bit in my book–the “taxi driver” syndrome, where we all step in to help, but really, we’re just making it harder for Avery to do the things he needs to do for himself. We’re a bunch of enablers.
Which is why Avery has begun using, with the help of his excellent speech therapist, an AAC. He’s using the LAMP Words For Life app on an iPad. He’s getting quite good at it, which brings me to the tears part.
As I was trying to explain to our wonderful speech therapist why the AAC would never really work, about how it was going to cause all these problems, I started to cry. And then I was so embarrassed I lost my train of thought and just sat in the little chair in the media center of the school, which is where we go for speech therapy, trying not to cry more.
We eventually got it all figured out–by “we” here I mean the therapist, Avery and me. It became clear that the person with the problem with the AAC was me, and that it was a problem because it represented a time, some time in the future, when Avery wouldn’t have me around to help him navigate the world, wouldn’t need me around to help him.
And that thought overwhelmed me. I mean, wasn’t that my biggest fear, back when Avery was a baby? That he wouldn’t have a big, beautiful life? And now, I’m surprised at how much a part of me doesn’t want to ever let him go.
On our way home, I asked Avery if he understood everything that had happened. He said he did. He understood it all even better than I did. He said, “Mommy’s going to miss Avery.”
It’s been quite a while, much longer than I originally thought.
I’m rusty! And out of the habit of writing daily, and also blogging has changed so much in the last many years. But I’m ready to try.
Time is pouring out like water from a pitcher, passing through my hands so shiny and quick. There are little boys pulling open drawers in the kitchen, asking for toast and milk and apples, and I want to be with them. Continue reading “Leave the light on”
The days are getting shorter and the air, especially at night, has a new chill to it, which is a long way of saying, it feels like fall!
Things we’re loving at our house right now: French toast with real maple syryp, Richard Scarry books, Goosie cards, BOB books, garden tomatoes, the reprintable resources from DSFOC, Melissa and Doug’s play food set, this pretend clock, this zucchini bread, and fresh eggs from this chicken (now all grown up!).
What do you love, at your house?
Today I’m over here, with a short essay I wrote a few years ago. It feels as true today as it did then, perhaps even more-so after Avery’s surgery. I hope it rings true for you, too.
And by that I mean: supplements.
Recently a new mom to a baby with DS wrote me and was wondering if the thoughts I shared in my book about supplements, such as Nutrivene-D and others, were the same.
A lot of things have happened since I first was thinking about the subject of supplements, when Avery was just a baby. Some things had me leaning toward trying it; others had me shying away from the idea. Continue reading “One of the tricky questions about Down syndrome”
Avery loves to draw circles. Sometimes, we call them “O”s, sometimes it’s “zeros” but really, they’re all circles, and he’s very good at making them. When he works, his face tightens with concentration as his little fingers grip the pencil. His tongue peeks out, a wisp of golden hair falls in his eyes. Continue reading “Circles”
Lately, Bennett has been giving Tom and me little performances in the evening, usually a combination of dancing and karate moves. He twirls and then chops the air with the heel of his hand, or bends over and kicks his back leg up into a handstand. By this time, Avery has joined him and they jump and spin all around until they become dizzy and fall down. I always worry they’ll bump into each other, accidentally konking heads, or that a stray kick will land in someone’s eye. Especially, I worry about Avery. Continue reading “Spinning”
This is the longest interval between posts here at Pinwheels since I began scribbling down my notes and thoughts more than 2 years ago. I want to say I don’t know how this could have happened, but really, I already know the answer. Continue reading “How did this happen?”
This is what six-years-old looks like at our house. And if you’re wondering why there are 12 candles on the cake?
is here. It’s from CJ, one of my very early inspirations when I was thinking about beginning a blog. And now, she’s inspiring me all over again, with her wonderful and creative way of reaching out across our nation and the world to spread Down syndrome awareness.
What am I talking about? Continue reading “A beautiful gift of love and time…”
It’s very quiet around here, lately, and for that I’m so grateful. We had another appointment with the cardiologist last Friday, and at that visit, Avery’s heart looked so good that we’ve been released from the weekly checks. In fact, we don’t have to go back for 6 months! Continue reading “Follow-up visit”
but I especially love playing it with Avery. Continue reading “I love playing hide-and-seek with all the boys,”